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Mars and Venus...Here we go!
By: Donna Worthy

Men are From Mars, Women are From Venus was only one of the thousands of books and other recourses out there for us to use to make a sad but genuine attempt at figure out members of the opposite sex. One minute there is some woman screaming about equal rights and the next there is her sister asking a man to lift or carry something for her. A man will swear he could easily stay home and do the “work of a woman” but when ask to help out with the cooking and cleaning he quickly uses the “that’s woman’s work” excuse!

Women and men are so unalike in just about every aspect of life that there is. Let start with the word “relationship”. Women have relationships, men do not. Men have periods of time where they are “seeing” “hanging out with” or “exclusively having sex “ with one woman. It is a period of time in their life that is about them and it will be decided by them and only them when or even if it should be taken to some different level.


Speaking of sex, women would prefer long periods of foreplay , short sex and hours and days filled with romance. Men feel that sufficient foreplay is the gentle slap on the bottom that is given on the way to the bedroom. Sex is and will always be as long as THEY want it to be and the romance part, well that is all up to the individual. For most men it is simple “I love you” before turning on the TV or rolling up into the corner.

Enough of all those deep issues. Let talk more about the fun stuff. Like for instance, how men and women handle breakups differently. If this doesn’t make you laugh nothing will. A women is usually heartbroken regardless of who’s fault the break up is. Even in the instances that she is the one to end it, it still breaks her heart to have to end something. She will do a few things to get past it. One, she will usually write a poem and call it “Men Suck” or “All Men Should Die”. Two, she will eat at least one gallon of ice cream with some chips while watching the most ridiculously unrealistic love story she has ever heard of! Next she will call up all of her friends and put together a “girls night out” witch is code for “I need some one to act a fool with me at the bar party”. They will all go out, she will find some jerk who will play on her broken heart and they will use each other for the night. Finally, the morning AFTER she gets over her horrible hangover she will pull herself out a slump and prepare to move on with her life the right way!

Now, as irrational and silly as it seems to mend a broken heart the female way the men seem to do have just a little more trouble ending things quickly. They play “hard” and never shed a tear until about 3-6 months later when they are out at a bar which happens not have anyone there that is interested in them that night. That is when the dreaded text comes. It is usually one that says how much he hates you for ruining his life and he feels the need to suddenly label you a BIG HO. Usually these sort of text are received at about 4AM and they are totally ignored which then forces the man to move on to plan B. The calls. You know, the ones that come back to back until you answer. When she finally answers, he yells and screams a few minutes and then says something along the lines of “You know, I have always loved you. Could there possibly be another shot for us”. What happens from there depends on the woman. She will either cry and tell him to come over and then they start this madness all over again OR she refers him to some therapy sessions and hangs up.


Bottom line is men and women are totally opposite in every thing from maturity levels and sense of humor to telephone manors and bathroom cleanliness. I suppose that’s why they say we need to find our “other half” Let him or her control their side and you control yours. There is no book or video that is ever going to answer the lifelong questions in the battle of the sexes! Take it for what it is and enjoy what you can. Here are a few funny videos to help you along the way!

 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IZnH8yGs3Pw

 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Hfl9e53LX_U

 

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Mars and Venus...Here we go!
By: Donna Worthy
   
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